Tuesday, September 19, 2006

SNAPPER INVADES CALI!!

SNAPPER has invaded California! I sent a copy of the DVD to my most devoted art patroness. Here's what she had to say...

"...my son and I loved "SNAPPER"!!! It was gratuitously raunchy, dorky, funny and wonderfully stupid!! I can't wait to share it w/my family and friends!!"

So there ya' go, another happy camper.

For a crappy project that never gets worked on or finished in any kind of respectable way, that damn turtle's got some legs! Well, at least two.

Fartisimo!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

IS SNAPPER DEAD?

No, he's not dead...the project is just manned by someone who has completely lost the time to deal with it. Not that Snapper is important to the future of mankind or anything, it's just a silly hobby that has spawned a small and spotty cult following across the US. Perhaps someday I'll find time to revisit Ulanawa Lake and all the pure foolishness that occurs on its banks. Until then, here are some updates...

First we'd like to thank a someone in Wisconsin who purchased a Snapper girlie jersey! We love the idea that someone is sporting Snapper swag in the home state of Ed Gein! How about sending us a pic of you in your spiffy Snapper shirt? That goes for anyone else out there who got their mangy paws on one as well!

Just send it as a jpeg to snapperfilm@aol.com
and we'll post it on the site!

Get your very own snapper ware at THE SNAPPER SHOP!

Secondly, the folks who host the Snapper videos on the web have a new address. You can now find the Snapper videos and much more artsy fartsy stuff at technobohemia.net. Get in there and join there forums! They are an interesting bunch!

As for the future, there are only questions. Will there be anymore Snapper videos? Will we ever fix the fiasco that was Progeny? Will this site ever be regularly updated? Who knows. Keep checking back and we may just surprise you one day.

Fartisimo!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

THANK YOU!

We'd like to take a moment to thank the kind soul in NYC who recently purchased a black SNAPPER T-Shirt! You commitment to crap is highly appreciated! Wear it with pride and tell everyone you know about the turdacious foolishness that is SNAPPER!

Kudos also to another recent recipient of a SNAPPER girlie top from right here in our shit bucket state of Tennessee! She even sent us a picture.



Hell, send us pics of yourselves in your SNAPPER swag and we'll post 'em here on the ever on hiatus Snapper Blog!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

UPDATE?

So you're looking at the SNAPPER blog are you? Our apologies come with butter!

Anyway, things seem to have gone dormant in Snapper Land for the foreseeable future.

Will there ever be any new sorry ass Snapper movies? Yes, but it'll be awhile. If CARNAGE gets made, it'll be this fall. Until then, enjoy the turds we have to offer! Just click on a title in the links column to watch a Snapper Adventure right on your own computer.

We are not currently offering the DVD for sale due to some fuck nut attempting to use the link to bust into the old paypal account. Hell, we were out of 'em anyway.

A new DVD will be available in the future with all the Snapper tales plus some surprises. Details on how to get your will appear on this site.

Be sure to come back and watch us fester in our own dormancy sometime.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

WE'RE STILL HERE

Man, it's been awhile since the last update. We'll be doing some work on the blog in the coming week. We've got some new graphics and some house cleaning to do. The old Reactions to Snapper that used to dwell in the links column has been archived to the post below in an attempt to keep the blog less cluttered. We've put a link up to access the post once it scrolls into the netherworld.

The SNAPPER COMIC has been updated. A few pages of the PROGENY adaptation have been lying on a desk around here for months. We'll try to have those up for you this week. It's just a matter of finding time to fool with them.

We hope to have the final version of the SNAPPER PROGENY video done sometime in April. Again, this horrible SNAPPER SAGA is a hobby and finding time to mess with it is the issue. You can watch the atrocious mess that is PROGENY as it stands for now.

We just wanted to let anyone who gives a rat's ass know that THE SNAPPER SAGA still lives.

Salute!

REACTIONS TO SNAPPER

What are people saying about THE SNAPPER SAGA? Read on to find out! If you'd like to add your two cents worth, email us at snapperfilm@aol.com or just use the comments link located under any recent post.

Dudes, SNAPPER is hilarious! I'm sorry, but SNAPPER PROGENY was crap. Compassion for the turtle? Come on! - TREY

I think SNAPPER PROGENY is a great teaser for the terrible events that we know it will lead into! This guy's just setting himself up for a bad end. - RINGMASTER

My dad was the one that purchased it to Arkansas and I have to say I loved it! Send me an email when the new one is coming out. - AARON

I watched SNAPPER recently and laughed rather a alot. There were two great gags in there. The first was where the two gentlemen are fishing and the one says, "My god. That was a good cast." It sounded so sincere, as though commenting on that cast was more important than ANYthing he could have been talking about. "I think I hit my nuts on a rock" was a great line. I don't know that I've ever heard that particular collection of words in that order before. It was an interesting twist on a cliche line. "A rock hit my nuts" would be commonplace, even boring, one might say, "Bob Sagetesque"; but by simply twisting the order of the words, you've brought new life into that joke. Also the delivery and the timing were spectacular, as though it were scripted and rehearsed. One final thought, it pays to be really fried when you watch it. I finally got 'round to watching all of SNAPPER REVENGE which contains one of the very best fight sequences ever recorded involving a cardboard turtle. I laughed rather a lot, which is saying something given the fact that I was sober when I watched it. And of course, "It took my balls!" A more classic line there isn't. - ASTROCOMICAL

SNAPPER is one of the best bad movies I have ever seen or been a part of. The cardboard and duct tape turtle is of the highest artistic standards (Momma, he ain't got no hind legs!). The audio and video precision granted by a VHS camcorder are excellent. And the acting itself, well, I think it's obvious the level of thought and preparation that went into the dialogue. And of course being the physical specimens that we are, all stunt work was done by us. Utter stupidity? Drunken tomfoolery? Comic genius? You be the judge. So do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of this movie. You'll be so glad you did. And if nothing else, the disc makes for a handsome beer coaster. And the case can be used as a hiding place for that freaky fetish porno that you want no one to know you possess. You know the one - with the livestock and midgets and key lime pie, you nasty sicko. - KEVIN

Guys, I must say that is one of the funniest movies, SNAPPER & SNAPPER REVENGE, I've ever seen. We will have to collaborate on a movie real soon between our characters. Can't wait for the third installment - DARION X

Guys, I wanna let you know how amazingly great that was! Great Laugh, and cheap humor. I loved it all! Guys if you want a "celebrity" to star in a Snapper film...have my Agent Shannon get in touch with me. - ARYKH

I get a kick out of SNAPPER...I'm going to watch SNAPPER REVENGE asap. - RAIETH

Ah, SNAPPER. A film that changed my life. I laughed. I cried. It became a part of me. The epic story of man against beast. What else could you want from a film? The subtle special effects and use of cardboard are astounding. No CGI here. The only better use of a turtle is "Gamera" and maybe "Bermuda Depths". This is a film to be seen and loved. If only there were plush toys to give to my kids. God bless the people responsible for "Snapper"! I only hope that the DVD does well and maybe, one day, we will see "Son of Snapper". SNAPPER is amazing. It is amazing what you can do with cardboard, a couple of friends, no budget, and time to kill one afternoon. It is a must see short film. You must see it while inebriated and plenty of friends are around to laugh-their-asses-off with you. SNAPPER is a work of art that will one day be a cult classic. I am sure that it is viewing material at several cults right now. And if you watch it, you will think about joining or maybe starting one. I cannot say enough things about this movie. It is well worth the price! Buy one! Hell, buy a bunch and give them to friends and family. The holidays are coming. Buy a whole crap load and decorate the tree with them this year! Seriously, it is worth seeing. - DUPEY

We got SNAPPER yesterday. I laughed my ass off!! Butchmule was cracking up too. At least I can say I knew you way back when the E! channel does your 'true hollywood story.' It was so cool to watch. The dvd packaging looked great. Are you making a cameo in SON OF SNAPPER? I think you should. Thanks for sending it to us. Have a good weekend. - BERE

I just finished watching my Promo DVD of SNAPPER with a splash of SNAPPER REVENGE and I must say it sped right past stupid and straight into Funny as shit. You can't help but burst into laughter... - MEATHEAD


SNAPPER is a film that plays on a primal childhood fear of mine, namely that a giant snapping turtle will burst out of a pile of nearby leaves and take a big bite out of my nuts. I'm unsure if it finally made it into a film because it is a widely held fear, or, merely just a coincidence, but it is a bit worrisome nonetheless. Disclaimers abound on the SNAPPER site and in the liner notes of the film that the film is not to be taken seriously, but with my turtle-nard munching phobia, I cannot help but take it as such. They also stress that it is not a good film, but I would argue that I could go to my DVD shelves and point to many a film that is worse. Many of these with much larger budgets than $5. SNAPPER manages to be both funny and terrifying to me at the same time. It gives you just enough time to begin feeling for the two fishermen before the carnage begins. I'm looking forward to SNAPPER REVENGE quite a bit, and I can only hope that down the road there will be such sequels as Son of Snapper, Bride of Snapper, and perhaps Curse of Snapper. Excellent use of a cardboard puppet. – FILTHY HIPPY

A true masterpiece of cinema arrived in my mailbox today...SNAPPER…I smell Oscar...I also smell..."a true majestic turd of a short film" Go get it now!!! - BITTER

Honestly, I did not know what to expect when I received my SNAPPER DVD, and I must say that I was not prepared for such an involved story. A story full of friendship and pain, terror and life struggle. The story begins simple enough, Kevin and Dave simply want to go on a fishing trip. But the simplicity soon ends as this trip turns into a fight for survival, and eventually costs them their lives. Snapper covers many genres of the theatrical field. With a mixture of The Blair Witch Project, Jaws, and Beavis and Butthead, these are lines that have clearly never been crossed. Few dare to tackle such a challenge. But with complex characters- Kevin, with the ever itchy butt, and Dave, with his inability to smoke a cigarette correctly, you are drawn in by the realness. If I were rating, I would give this movie 5 turds out of 5, but there is a burning question I can't get out of my mind that I'm afraid may never be answered - Who gets Kevin's fishing pole now that he's dead? Maybe this will be covered in the sequel, or the sure-to-be-coming prequel, I don't know, but for now - Remember...the next time you're camping, boating at the lake, or peeing off a pier, be careful. SNAPPER is out there, lurking, waiting for you to come near the water. I urge to you to think twice. Please.....be careful what you fish for... - KRIS

I thought it was excellent, excellent stuff. I applaud your efforts, sir...It's 11 minutes of hilarity. I laughed out loud. To me, that's the highest compliment one can give. - TOMMY

lol...SNAPPER was really scary... and to think that they actually, really for truly found SNAPPER! , it is like scaring the hell out of me...we need a posse... - JORDAN

SNAPPER kicked ass. I will be sure to spread the word about SNAPPER and how retarded it actually is. - SHANNON

Personally, I loved the SNAPPER short film. It's a laugh riot. Definitely worth the price of FREE. I hope those promo DVD's found good homes. - SKYCRY

God bless the makers of SNAPPER, bringing light to a member of the turtle family that is often forgotten and misunderstood. I must honestly say that I enjoyed this work of art that you guys did shit upon the earth. And it gets better and funnier with every viewing, as I try to spread the word. Thanks for the movie, guys --- a worthy addition to my collection! I laughed, I cried, and I took a nice shit afterwards. See you at the Oscars! - JAMIE

Ah SNAPPER.... My life was going well before I got involved in making this piece of crap. Since then I've lost my house, my fiance' and was forced to move from Knoxville!! All because of the 'joys' of being in this movie!! It's good to know you guys are making millions pimping out this retarded bitch!! I hope you rot in Hell.... Just kidding!! SNAPPER is fantastic!! Order it, buy it, make love to it!! JUST GET IT!! You will not be sorry!! Well, you might be!! - DAVE


RETURN TO CURRENT POST

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

SNAPPER CONFOUNDS DEMS

Someone at democraticunderground.com seems to be doing a bit of sleuthing. We here at Southernecrology Productions find the following link to be quite amusing.

LOGAN'S CURSE?

Ugawalla? Yup. Okay then. Actually reading the content of this blog would've helped ease the apparent confusion. Still, thanks for the link!

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

SNAPPER COMIC REVISED

Whad'ya know...revising of the existing SNAPPER COMIC pages I and II is underway. Slow going as is everything around here, but underway. Click below to have a peek.

THE SNAPPER COMIC

Meanwhile, Skycry is working on something special for our next run of FREE PROMO DVDS! We're all out at the moment, but keep checking back! Your hand out dreams will soon come true. I'm assuming someone out there cares.

Silly me.

Until then, talk amongst yourselves and watch our stupid videos.

SNAPPER - Be Careful What You Fish For!

SNAPPER REVENGE - Let's Make Some Soup!

SNAPPER PROGENY - Why Won't it Come Out? rough cut

We also have one non-snapper video. It's a spoof of the sci-fi classic LOGAN'S RUN. Click the title below to check it out!

LOGAN RUNS - There is no Sanctuary!

Thursday, January 26, 2006

SNAPPER'S OUT OF FREEBIES

We are officially out of free promo DVDs. All fifty of the initial promo DVDs featuring SNAPPER and SNAPPER IN THE RAW have gone out into the world. I'm sure they are all living full lives as beverage coasters, improvised frisbees or as implements whose uses we dare not fathom. Hopefully, SNAPPER discs make occasional appearances at drunken gatherings, much to the amusement of all subjected to them. After all, that's the purpose they were meant to serve. We'll have another few promos in the coming months, so stay tuned! We may have some shirts and a new version of the promo DVD next time around.

Currently, we are trying to get back on track with the SNAPPER COMIC. The completed pages need some reworking and several more pages need to get started. We intend to have that project wrapped up pretty soon.

In the video realm, we're going to add a few scenes and do some major tweaking to SNAPPER PROGENY in the coming months. This will clear the way for work on the final Snapper adventure, SNAPPER CARNAGE, to get underway.

For now, you can watch our SNAPPER SAGA as it exists thus far. Just click on the titles below to enjoy the tales of our testicle munching rampaging reptile right on your own computer!

SNAPPER - Be Careful What You Fish For!

SNAPPER REVENGE - Let's Make Some Soup!

SNAPPER PROGENY - Why Won't it Come Out? rough cut

We also have one non-snapper video. It's a spoof of the sci-fi classic LOGAN'S RUN. Click the title below to check it out!

LOGAN RUNS - There is no Sanctuary!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

GIRLS GONE GRABBLIN'

If you think taking on a vicious cardboard snapping turtle puppet sounds dangerous, you should check out some grabblin' action!



Grabbling or Noodling is the art of 'hand fishing' for catfish. You find a hole, stick your hand into it, wiggle your fingers and hope a monstrous catfish bites onto your hand. When it does, you grab its lower lip and wrestle it out of the hole. It sounds like fiction, but it's fact. Since seeing is believing, I suggest you check out catfishgrabblers.com. That where I ordered my Girls Gone Grabblin' DVD!

Unlike certain profanity laden videos about a testicle munching turtle, GGG is fine entertainment for the whole family! You'll be amazed as Southern gals wrestle catfish up to fifty pounds out of their underwater hideouts. Get your Girls Gone Grabblin' DVD from catfishgrabblers.com today! It's worth every penny!

Don't forget to watch our profanity laden, crap fest SNAPPER videos while you're here!

catfishgrabblers.com is no way affiliated with, nor endorses Southernecrology Productions' SNAPPER SAGA.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

GET YOUR FREE DVD

Okay, it's time for a freebie! Up for grabs are the last of the Snapper Promotional DVDs. The promo DVD features SNAPPER and SNAPPER IN THE RAW and does not come with a case. If you would like to receive one absolutely free, just send us your name and postal mailing address via the email link below. We will not share this information or put you on any type of mailing list. This offer is good within The United States only.

snapperfilm@aol.com

Act now! Supplies are extremely limited! Thanks for your interest in SNAPPER!

Monday, January 02, 2006

THE BEAST OF ULANAWA

There is a lake that sometimes runs red. There is a lake that holds a ferocious beast. There is a lake haunted by a vicious turtle.

In Ulanawa Lake, there lurks SNAPPER!

Many claim to have seen SNAPPER, but physical evidence for the creature's existence has yet to be found. The only thing on record is the following photographic evidence. The photos were developed from film found in a bloody camera on the banks of Ulanawa Lake. The blood was determined to be of human origin, but the donor was never found or identified. The discovery was followed by the largest rash of mysterious deaths and disappearances in the history of Ulanawa Lake.



It is assumed that these photos are either a hoax or the last photos taken by a person or persons who met their fate at the jaws of SNAPPER.

Though these photos brought on a revival of SNAPPER sightings and supposed attacks, reports of the Beast of Ulanawa were nothing new. Cherokee legends claim that the lake is home to an evil spirit trapped in the body of a turtle, hence the lake's moniker, Ulanawa.

A tale originating in the 1800's claims that SNAPPER was the trained attack pet of a local freed slave turned gunfighter. He had trained the beast for the sole purpose of brutally slaying the man who murdered his father. After the deed was done, the gunfighter released SNAPPER into Ulanawa Lake. A reward for the turtle, but an eternal curse upon the townsfolk.

For the purpose of our videos, our stories our based upon the claims of a local eccentric. According to him, his mentally deficient twin brother and a companion were slain by SNAPPER on an ill fated fishing trip. The two were indeed found dead and mutilated in a wooded area near the lake, but it was never proven that SNAPPER was the culprit.

Unfortunately, the authorities alluded to the beast when informing the man of his brother's death. That was all it took. He needed someone to blame. He chose SNAPPER.

In the months that followed, the man claimed to have hunted down, slain and even eaten his reptilian quarry. He swore he was assisted by a man he referred to only as The Turtle Hunter. He also claimed that this hunter had lost his life to SNAPPER in the process. Authorities searched the lake upon hearing these claims, but no trace of hunter or turtle was ever found. The man claimed to have kept SNAPPER'S head, but had eaten it as well for good measure.

With no body or evidence of any kind, authorities deemed the man a harmless crack pot and left it at that. They assumed the loss of his twin brother had frayed his last nerve.

He now roams the streets, telling his tales to anyone who will listen. His latest raving concerns his passing of an egg swallowed during his feasting upon SNAPPER'S innards. He claims to have attempted to raise SNAPPER'S offspring, only to have things go horribly awry.

Just exactly what happened he refuses to say.

If you're ever in the Ulanawa Lake area, ask someone to point out the Snapper guy. He'll gladly relay his supposed experiences for you.

Until that day comes, check out our SNAPPER videos by clicking the links in the top of the right hand column. You can watch them on your computer.

Enjoy!

Photos courtesy of T.N. Clay. Images originally appeared in his book, THE CURSE OF SNAPPER.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

WE'RE REMODELING

Our returning visitors may notice some changes around here as of late. I've been tweaking the look of the site a bit, in hopes of bringing a little more cohesion to our graphics. Things will probably change some more over the next couple of weeks or so. I'm just trying to simplify the look of things. The links column was beginning to look a bit cluttered up due to all the different image styles.

There was some talk tonight about shooting a new ending for the final version of PROGENY. We came up with something that should bring it more in line with the previous adventures. After the additional scenes are added, we're going to do a decent edit and have a much more polished turd for your enjoyment.

PROGENY as it stands is just some rough shots that were slapped together with a VCR. We truly operate in the Stone Age around here. The final version will be run through I-Movie before it's actually committed to the SNAPPER SAGA DVD. Still, you can watch the latest debacle 'as is' by clicking the link below.

WATCH SNAPPER PROGENY

Don't forget to watch our other idiotic Snapper adventures as well.

We'll see you in the New Year with some brand new comic pages, art, apparel and video project updates.