NEWS AND SNAPPER REVIEWS...

We just finished final editing on SNAPPER REVENGE! The next run of DVDs will contain SNAPPER, SNAPPER REVENGE, and SNAPPER IN THE RAW. Barring any technical disasters, we should have multiple copies available very soon! There will be a 'trade in' offer for some of the folks who responded to our 'free promo' of the earlier version. Keep checking back for details. Now, onto some new reviews...

Snapper is a film that plays on a primal childhood fear of mine, namely that a giant snapping turtle will burst out of a pile of nearby leaves and take a big bite out of my nuts.

I'm unsure if it finally made it into a film because it is a widely held fear, or, merely just a coincidence, but it is a bit worrisome nonetheless.

Disclaimers abound on the Snapper site and in the liner notes of the film that the film is not to be taken seriously, but with my turtle-nard munching phobia, I cannot help but take it as such.

They also stress that it is not a good film, but I would argue that I could go to my DVD shelves and point to many a film that is worse. Many of these with much larger budgets than $5.

Snapper manages to be both funny and terrifying to me at the same time. It gives you just enough time to begin feeling for the two fishermen before the carnage begins.

I'm looking forward to Snapper Revenge quite a bit, and I can only hope that down the road there will be such sequels as Son of Snapper, Bride of Snapper, and perhaps Curse of Snapper.

Excellent use of a cardboard puppet. - FILTHY HIPPY

A true masterpiece of cinema arrived in my mailbox today...SNAPPER! This fine production was produced by REX over at Damn Diary. I smell Oscar...I also smell ..."a true majestic turd of a short film" Go get it now!!! - BITTER

Thanks guys!

LATEST NEWS...

Hi kids, the SNAPPER FREE DVD PROMO is officially over. The freebies are all gone! We'd like to thank everyone who responded! Snapper DVDs went to Tennessee, Missouri, Arizona, Washington State, and even New York City! That's not even counting the ones from Dragon*Con. Who knows where they ended up.

We are nearing completion on the new SNAPPER SPECIAL EDITION. Yes, we've gone Lucas. This DVD will available by purchase only. It will contain SNAPPER, SNAPPER REVENGE, and possibly SNAPPER IN THE RAW. If you loved the promo disc, you'll love Revenge as well.

We leave you today with the latest response to SNAPPER...

Don't Go Near the Water - a Review of Snapper

by KRIS aka DAWG

Honestly, I did not know what to expect when I received my Snapper DVD, and I must say that I was not prepared for such an involved story. A story full of friendship and pain, terror and life struggle. The story begins simple enough, Kevin and Dave simply want to go on a fishing trip. But the simplicity soon ends as this trip turns into a fight for survival, and eventually costs them their lives.

Snapper covers many genres of the theatrical field. With a mixture of The Blair Witch Project, Jaws, and Beavis and Butthead, these are lines that have clearly never been crossed. Few dare to tackle such a challenge. But with complex characters - Kevin, with the ever itchy butt, and Dave, with his inability to smoke a cigarette correctly, you are drawn in by the realness. If I were rating, I would give this movie 5 turds out of 5, but there is a burning question I can't get out of my mind that I'm afraid may never be answered - Who gets Kevin's fishing pole now that he's dead? Maybe this will be covered in the sequel, or the sure-to-be-coming prequel, I don't know, but for now - Remember...the next time you're camping, boating at the lake, or peeing off a pier, be careful. Snapper is out there, lurking, waiting for you to come near the water. I urge to you to think twice. Please.....be careful what you fish for.....

MORE SNAPPER REVIEWS

Well kids, we have a few more reactions to SNAPPER for you! Also, concerning the FREE DVD PROMO, there's only one left! Grab it! Just e-mail your US Postal mailing address to snapperfilm@aol.com and it can be yours absolutely free! After it's gone, SNAPPER will actually cost money!

Snapper kicked ass. I will be sure to spread the word about Snapper and how retarded it actually is. - SHANNON

lol...snapper was really scary... and to think that they actually, really for truly found SNAPPER! It is like scaring the hell out of me...we need a posse... - JORDAN

...I thought it was excellent, excellent stuff. I applaud your efforts, sir...It's 11 minutes of hilarity. I laughed out loud. To me, that's the highest compliment one can give. - TOMMY

Wow...I'm blushing! I'm glad I was able to share rampant stupidity with you fine folks! God bless you all!

BIG SNAPPER NEWS

Dear urealistic turtle puppet fans, I recently sent an e-mail to B-Movie reviewer, comedian, author, and renaissance man JOE BOB BRIGGS* about our ridiculous SNAPPER project. I asked if he would be willing to watch our majestic turd. I received a reply today. Mr. Briggs stated, "Sure thing, bud, I'd be happy to take a look at it."

I'll be sending him one this week. Wow, Joe Bob will see SNAPPER. Hopefully he will swing by the site and post a comment!

We'd also like to thank SHANNON for being the first person to order a SNAPPER shirt! God bless you!

Spread the turd...I mean word of SNAPPER!

GET IN ON THE FREE DVD PROMO.

*Joe Bob Briggs is not affiliated with, nor endorses SNAPPER

THEY CAUGHT SNAPPER!

GET IN ON THE FREE DVD PROMO!!!

Talk about life imitating art! Have you hear about what they pulled from the bottom of Laguna Lake in Fullerton, California? Apparently it was some kind of giant turtle. It was a giant snapping turtle! I think I'll sue!



YAHOO NEWS - A giant 100-pound alligator snapping turtle, thought to be 50-years-old, is captured in a net Thursday, Sept. 9, 2004, in Fullerton, Calif. Workers hired to scoop fish from Laguna Lake pulled out the turtle that local residents have heard tales about for 40 years.

WHITTIER DAILY NEWS - Giant snapping turtle found in Laguna Lake...The legend of a vicious snapping turtle named Old Bob turned out to be true when workers hired to scoop fish from Laguna Lake pulled out the 50-year-old creature.
For 40 years, residents around the man-made lake had heard rumors about the 100-pound reptile known as an alligator snapping turtle...Officials didn't know how the giant turtle, normally found in the South and Midwest, got to the lake...Alligator snapping turtles are the largest of all freshwater turtles in North America...They're also dangerous. (read full story)

No shit! Try video taping a really mean one made out of cardboard!

Here's another story about this giant snapping turtle!

SNAPPER NEWS AND REVIEWS

Okay, so you come to, or stumble upon, this site and think to yourself, I'd like to see this SNAPPER. Well my friends, the deluxe version, with a nifty slim line case chock full of color inserts, hasn't been burnt yet. We hope to have that done within the next couple of weeks. Then, and only then, will we actually be selling SNAPPER.

But wait! You can get one of our free promotional SNAPPER DVDs right now! The label had a bit of a printing mishap and there is a cosmetic mistake on the menu screen. We decided to just give these away without the case. The promo DVD will arrive in a color DVD paper sleeve.

All you have to do is email us your US or Canadian mailing address to snapperfilm@aol.com and we'll send you one absolutely FREE! What have you got to lose? We only have four left, so ACT NOW!

While you mull it over, see what others are saying about the rampant stupidity that is SNAPPER!

Ah, Snapper. A film that changed my life. I laughed. I cried. It became a part of me. The epic story of man against beast. What else could you want from a film? The subtle special effects and use of cardboard are astounding. No CGI here. The only better use of a turtle is GAMERA and maybe BERMUDA DEPTHS. This is a film to be seen and loved. If only there were plush toys to give to my kids. God bless the people responsible for SNAPPER! I only hope that the DVD does well and maybe, one day, we will see SON OF SNAPPER. - TBLAIR

Personally, I loved the SNAPPER short film. It's a laugh riot. Definitely worth the price of FREE. I hope those promo DVD's found good homes. - SKYCRY

God bless the makers of SNAPPER, bringing light to a member of the turtle family that is often forgotten and misunderstood. I must honestly say that I enjoyed this work of art that you guys did shit upon the earth. And it gets better and funnier with every viewing, as I try to spread the word. Thanks for the movie, guys --- a worthy addition to my collection! I laughed, I cried, and I took a nice shit afterwards. See you at the Oscars! - JAMIE

Ah Snapper.... My life was going well before I got involved in making this piece of crap. Since then I've lost my house, my fiance' and was forced to move from Knoxville!! All because of the 'joys' of being in this movie!! It's good to know you guys are making millions pimping out this retarded bitch!! I hope you rot in Hell.... Just kidding!! Snapper is fantastic!! Order it, buy it, make love to it!! JUST GET IT!! You will not be sorry!! Well, you might be!! - DAVE

HATE SNAPPER? BLAME US!

Here's a shot of three tipsy folks who are part of the SNAPPER saga as they prepare to roam about DRAGON*CON. If you've seen our majestic turd of a short film, you may recognize the middle fellow. Despite his 'realistic' death scene in SNAPPER, he is alive and well! Notice his lovely SNAPPER shirt? Well, you can get your own at the SNAPPER STORE!

Don't forget about our FREE DVD PROMO!

"I don't know! It's some kinda god damn turtle! It's a big snapper!"

THANKS YOU GUYS!

I'd like to thank everyone who has responded to the free DVD promotion so far. Your DVDs were mailed out today. We hope you enjoy the blatant stupidity that is SNAPPER! We hope you return to the site and post a comment after watching our Z-Grade turd!

There are four free sleeved SNAPPER DVDs still up for grabs. The DVD label on these promo discs has a printing glitch that was discovered after the labels had been applied.

Send your mailing address to snapperfilm@aol.com and we'll send you one absolutely free!

SNAPPER is a region 1 encoded DVD-R.

NEW COMMENT SERVICE ADDED

Attention unrealistic turtle puppet fans! I've now added a new comment service. Now everyone can comment on SNAPPER! Whether you love us or hates us, we want to know!

The previous comment system only allowed Blogger users to comment. I didn't realize this until yesterday. We now have equal opportunity comments capability via HALOSCAN.

Sorry if anyone who tried to comment earlier was asked to join Blogger. It's fixed now!

Tell us just how stupid, bad, joyous, or ridiculous you thought SNAPPER turned out.

FREE SNAPPER DVD PROMO

Though we gave away several DVD's at DRAGON*CON 2004, we have seven sleeved promotional SNAPPER DVD's left! They are all adorned with the promotional sticker, which had a bit of a printing glitch, and will not be sold in the slim line cases. A free DVD will be mailed to the first seven people to email us at snapperfilm@aol.com with their US Postal Service, or Canadian mailing address.*

By accepting this offer, you are declaring that your are 18 or older, as SNAPPER is rife with gratuitous profanity.

This is your last chance, unless you were personally contacted by us, to receive SNAPPER absolutely free! I personally guarantee that SNAPPER is worth the cost of nothing! ACT NOW!!!!!

All we ask in return is that you show SNAPPER to anyone who appreciates rampant stupidity! Spread the ridiculous reptilian joy! Spread SNAPPER!

*SNAPPER is a NSTC Region 1 encoded DVD-R. Offer expires September 30th 2004, or until supplies last.

BACK FROM THE CON...

We're back from DRAGON*CON where SNAPPER went out into the world as a promotional freebie. If you're one of the several folks that was given a sleeved DVD or just picked one up from the flyer tables, we'd love to hear your comments. You can comment via the link following this post or via email to snapperfilm@aol.com.

If you've watched your DVD, you may be wondering if SNAPPER is meant to be so very stupid. That answer would be yes. It is intended to be a Z-grade farce, in all the shlocky glory possible.

Please share it with anyone you know who appreciates rampant stupidity!